BMW Winter Sports Day

One of the fringe benefits of Annika's current position within BMW is that she is included in any staff wide social functions that BMW may choose to hold.  The first of the year was today and was the BMW Winter Sports Day.  So once again Annika and I left our apartment early in the morning dressed in our ski gear, snow boards under our arms ready to hit the pistes.  Unfortunately for us the U bahn didn't exactly run to our schedule, so we had to arrive a bit earlier than we would have preferred and wait on the bus for 20 minutes before departing.  On arrival at the meeting place we were informed that the departure time had been set back by 30 minutes and that Annika had not been included on the distribution list for this slumber conducive piece of information.  Luckily they had forgotten to include the bus company as well so we, at least, got to sit and wait in a nice warm bus.

We finally got rolling and headed out to the German Alps destination Schliersee.  BMW had hired a whole ski area but the Alps have not received that much snow this year and this particular area didn't have snow cannons (the ability to produce artificial snow) so it all looked a bit too green.  Kein problem.  The fall back plan was to use the public pistes which had snow cannon. 

It was quite strange boarding on almost exclusively artificial snow.  It was quite hard packed and fast, yet still offered enough grip to hold edges really well.  We did three runs, testing each of the main pistes, choosing to avoid the T bars, before stopping for teuere heisse Schokolade (incidentally I now know that if Schokolade was maskulin instead of feminin, which it isn't because it ends in "e", it would be heisser Schokolade unless it was akkusitiv then it would be heissen schokolade.  What a simple logical language German is.)

Annika contemplating her declining English vocabulary

Note the snaky lake just beside Annika cheek

For a while now I have suspected that since returning to her home country, Annika's English vocabulary has stared to decline.  This was confirmed for me today when Annika, querying a recently taken photo, asked if I had included the long snaky lake.  There was a pause.  "You mean the river?"  A moment of embarrassed silence ensued.

When being interviewed for a job it is important not to start an argument with the interviewer.

I had another interview today and it didn't go well.  A bit of a pity really as the company sounded like it would be a good fit.  Anyway it all went pair shaped when one of the interviewers told me that my drilling back ground excluded me from working for an Engineering company.  I pointed out to him that I didn't actually have a background in drilling.  He countered, insisting that I did.  I patiently explained that I didn't and, of the two of us, my money was on myself as actually being the authority on what my previous experience was.  We agreed to disagree and he then stated that I was not suitable for the position because I had not worked for an Engineering company and all my experience was based with operators. Once again I pointed out that the majority of the companies that I had worked for were in fact Engineering Companies and that only 3 years of my experience was with operators.  He suggested that perhaps I could work for their construction division, 8 weeks on, 2 weeks off in Kazakhstan.  I put forward the proposition that there were two chances of this happening but refused to elaborate on what the second one was.   One of us parted as friends.

They are going to pass my CV on to their upstream division to see if they are interested.  I won't be holding my breath.

Ich lerne Deutsch

Three weeks down in the German course and I am still not fluent.  Maybe I expect too much.

Not really.  The time has raced by and I do think that I am starting to pick things up.  However I am being hampered by a career spent training my brain to deal with countless safety inductions.  I am now such a finely tuned safety induction machine that I can sit through a 3 hour company safety induction and immediately regurgitate all the salient points there of, in an assessment of understanding. (You can't call them tests or examinations as these words infer that there is some significance to comprehending the safety induction, there by placing the individual under pressure to perform.  Pressure leads to stress, stress leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads to the dark side.)  30 seconds after completing the aforementioned assessment I would have trouble recalling whether the life boats are situated under the flare or adjacent to the PLQ or if you really are allowed to smoke cigars in the well bay area.  Whilst this skill has allowed me to attend numerous safety inductions successfully, admittedly with the downside of becoming a danger to myself and my colleagues, it is now becoming a liability to me learning German.  My problem is that I can quite successfully read something or listen to something and then regurgitate it but I do so without real comprehension.  So up until now I have appeared to be quite clever, gaining a gold star in verb conjugation and an elephant stamp in definite article association.

Unfortunately the party is now over.  In today's lesson the teacher insisted that we start bringing together all of the stuff that we had learnt so far, with the aim of creating original sentences.  This is where it became apparent that my two closest competitors in the race to learn German, make no mistake it is a race, were a fair bit more advanced than myself.  What is worse one of them is American.  She actually told me she had trouble understanding me once and I wasn't quick enough to reply that it was probably because I was speaking English.  I always come up with a witty quip 2 years after the event.  Today I wrote my first letter in German.  We were given a number of subjects/items that we had to include but the rest was up to us.  Some of the things I remember are, Potato Museum (don't laugh it exists), the Minibar being empty, playing foot ball at 7pm, the TV not working and the hotel room being small.  I addressed the letter to Annika and am particularly proud of the fact that I managed to say that Paul "the Finger" Dalton came over to visit, so of course, the minibar is now empty.

Schmetterling

Today's cultural experience with the language school was a visit to the Munich Botanical Gardens, in particular the butterfly house.  It was quite surreal to be standing in the green house amongst the cacti looking out at the snow covered gardens beyond the glass.  We were allowed in for free because we were a "school group".

The rare hairy penis plant of Peru

The gardens were very good and I always admire the amount of effort that is required to recreate the required environment for these different plants.  There was a fern room, a dessert room, a tropical room and, of course the butterfly room.  This last was the high light of the visit.  The number of different species and the quantity of each was amazing.  There is something very peaceful and wondrous about having large brightly coloured insects flapping around you.

Schnee

Das Fixie.  Die Backerei

It snowed last night so everything is once more covered in a blanket of white.  I rode my bike to die Bakerei this morning, it is less painful for me than walking.  Riding through the fresh snow was entertaining, never really knowing if I was going to be lying in the snow at any moment.  I still have my road slicks on the fixie and they don't inspire confidence in the snow.

Das Fixie.  Die Wohnung

I have just returned from riding around through the park.  I had gone out to drop off the recycling but I enjoyed riding through the snow so much that I stayed out and rode aimlessly through the park.  I was rewarded by seeing the woodpecker (unfortunately I didn't take a camera) close up instead of high in the trees and spent my time enjoying the light snow falling on my face and practising propping on my bike.  Propping is a skill that I have always wanted to master.  Propping is when you can balance the bike whilst stopped without putting either foot on the ground.  Whilst trying to master this life skill I discovered that I could spin the back wheel on the ice if I tried to accelerate hard.  This led to me practising this quite a bit, much to the consternation of the other people using the park.  Ultimately I discovered that I could do quite good fixed wheel skids on the ice as well so this led to whole lot more practising, also to the consternation of the other people using the park.  I wished Annika was there to enjoy it with me.

Der Sprachkurs

As you know I am learning German.  The course is an intensive course and uses an immersion method which means that the lessons and course book are all in German.  The only other languages spoken are those of the respective students to each other and to the teacher if he/she speaks that particular language and can be cajoled into conversing in it.  This may sound counter intuitive but when you think about it, it makes sense.  If I think about my friends baby daughter who is just learning to speak, she and her parents don't have a common point of reference to start from.  She can't ask her parents how to conjugate a particular verb or ask them to translate nouns, instead she is immersed in English as her parents through repetition and association begin to teach her our language.  The same principle applies to my German classes to some degree.  Sure I am taught German grammar in a prescriptive way but I am picking up other stuff without formal teaching.  Nobody taught the class what the German words were for page or chapter or home work but through association you can't help but pick it up.  The same applies to a lot of other words.

I am one of the very few in my circle of friends that hasn't learnt another language.  The majority know of what I now speak and it will be old hat for them but for the one remaining monoliguist I will now wax lyrically about the joys of another language.

Take the definite article.  In English there is only one and it is "the".  In Deutsch there are six.  "Der, die, das, des, dem, den"  How and when to use them is determined by some not so simple rules which involve sex of the noun and whether the sentence is nominative, accusative or dative.

The indefinite aritcle.   In English there are two and they are "a" & "an".  In Deutsch there are five.  "Ein, eine, einer, einem einen"  Once again how and when to use them is determined by some not so simple rules which involve sex of the noun and whether the sentence is nominative, accusative or dative.

Then there are the nouns. Nouns in German, like French and Italian, are either masculine, feminine or neutral.  Unfortunately there is not a European standard for nouns and what might be masculine in French is feminine in German. There are no rules to determine the sex of a noun despite what people may say.  The only hard and fast rule is found in the Alec Birbeck guide to noun determination.  Alec correctly states that if you put "chen" on the end of every noun (e.g. Stuhl becomes Stuhlchen) then everything becomes das.  Das Brotchen, das Computerchen etc.  You may sound like a demented three year old but at least you are grammatically correct.

The next anomaly with German is that you have to learn to speak like Yoda.

"Teach you German I will."

"Learn to conjugate verbs you will."

"Strong in grammatically correct sentence structure you will become."

Besucher aus Stuttgart

Note the dejected look on Emelia's face and the supercilious look on mine.

We had guests staying with us over the weekend.  Markus and Andrea, with their baby daughter Emelia, drove down from Stuttgart to spend the night.  I really enjoy their company and have since I first met them.  I am an Engineer, Markus is an Engineer so nothing more needs to be said really.  In the future the world won't be ruled by apes, it will be ruled by Engineers and it will be a better place.

Emelia is 16 months old so I welcomed the opportunity to speak German with someone at about my level.  I spent the weekend paying out on her because of her poor vocabulary and woeful verb conjugation and just generally feeling superior to her.  It was a pretty low act but these days I have to take the opportunities when they come.  We had a very lazy and relaxing weekend choosing not to do much other than play with Amelia, chat and go for the occasional walk.  It started to snow on Sunday afternoon, just light small crystals.

The first sign of spring

Grinning idiot

I have taken to smiling at strangers.  I have noticed that Germans, or maybe just Muncheners, don't smile a lot and if you do smile at someone they will immediately look away or scowl at you.  I find this amusing.  I shall continue to smile at people until I am arrested for being a public nuisance.

Things that are cool Part 2

How cool is this.  In Munich it is legal for a cyclist to ride the wrong way down a one way street.  I think this is great but one does wonder whether this is such a good thing and whether the public health system may be less pressed if this rule did not exist.  I love riding in Munich.  I pretend that I am a cycle courier in Manhattan.

Retraction

Some of the more observant followers of this blog may have noticed that a posting has disappeared.  This has happened because the particular post was written as a means to vent some frustration and although I did enjoy writing it I have decided to with draw it because it was more of an expose on my state of mind and not based on any reliable information other than my own rage inspired conjecture.  Since writing that entry I have done further research into the matter and am wiser to the following.

1. Ibuprofen is an accepted, although not recommended treatment for gout.
2. Colchicum, prescribed by the second doctor, seems to be the worlds N°1 treatment for an acute attack of gout.
3. Once a person has had an episode of gout there is an extremely high probability that they will continue to have recurrent episodes.  Hooray!
4. The side effects to consuming large amounts Colchicum are diarrhoea and nausea.  I have since lost a third of my body weight and feel like I am imploding every time I use the lavatory.  So to recap I have nausea, diarrhoea and gout together, all I need now is haemorrhoids and my world will be complete.
5. I have been reliably informed that doctors are not puppets of soulless, profit hungry, multinational pharmaceutical companies and are, in fact, conscientious and respected members of our society.

Das Fahrrad is schnell und schwarz

Part of my German lessons involve some exposure to German culture in the form of out of hours class outings.  They are voluntary and self funded but the school manages to get good deals so they are inexpensive.  Last night the school arranged tickets to an Improvised Opera.  I wasn't particularly keen, after 8 lessons in German I didn't think I would get much out of it, but Annika was interested so we decided to go.  I am glad to say that I really enjoyed the evening.  The below is my interpretation of what went on because, let's face it, I didn't have a clue what was happening half the time.

The show started with the five performers (four singers and pianist) introducing each other and explaining how the evening would run.  Everything, from the music to the lyrics would be improvised based on input from the audience.  The first act had the troupe asking the audience for an object and 4 different emotions.  Unfortunately the audience consisted mainly of Bavarian pensioners with limited imagination.  The object was an axe and the emotions were love, anger, jealousy and apathy.  Each singer then improvised a song expressing one of the emotions with the central theme being an axe.  The pianist knew which emotion each singer had to sing about so had some idea of what tone to set.

The following act had the troupe produce the Bavarian equivalent of The Sun news paper and asked an audience member to select an article.  The article was something to do with a badger on a street.  I haven't a clue what they sang about but the actions and facial expressions were entertaining.  The next act was the pick of the crop.  One member of the team interviewed a lady in the audience about her family and what she had done that day.  She was married with a son that was living or treking in India and it was a fairly ordinary day.  She cleaned the whole house, cooked her husband chicken for lunch then rode her bike 10 kms through the cold before retiring for the afternoon to read her book.  The troupe then proceeded to sing and act out a dream sequence for this lady.  This was hilarious and the bit where 3 members were acting and singing like giant chickens attacking the forth who was representing the central character (the lady from the audience) had me in tears.

During the intermission the troupe handed out small pieces of paper and asked the audience to write a sentence on them.  Being the cool and aloof individual that I am, I refused to be drawn into contributing but Annika insisted and I can never say no to my wife.  I chose to write "Das Fahrrad is schnell and schwarz"  Pretty inspirational stuff.  Some more astute readers might spot a reoccurring theme to my life.

The first act after intermission had the troupe collect all the pieces of paper and spread them on the floor of the stage.  They then asked the audience to choose the relationship of each singer to the rest so a scene could be set.  The singing started and each member, whilst in full voice, had to randomly pick up a piece of paper an incorporate the sentence into their song.  I am proud to say that they got a lot of miles out of my black bicycle but I am a little concerned that somebody had written "Der Australia ist sexy" and the troupe got even more miles out of that sentence.  I am almost 100% certain that it was written by somebody from the school and 99% certain that it was directed at the other Australian in attendance that evening, who was much sexier than I am.  After all he claimed to come from Queensland.  A claim I am some what suspicious off since in a subsequent conversation he stated that people from Western Australia speak  r e a l l y  s l o w l y.  I found this interesting as it is common knowledge amongst the populations of all the  states and territories of Australia, with the exception of Queensland, that if you want to have a conversation with a Queenslander you have to take a packed lunch and a good book.  Queenslanders can write faster than they can speak hence the enormous popularity of social networking tools such as Facebook, email, sms, etc. in Brisbane.

The last act paled in comparison to the previous two but that was partially due to an unimaginative audience consisting predominantly of the afore mentioned Bavarian pensioners, whose collective idea of risqué subjects was knitting, doner kebabs and bikinis.  Luckily the troupe, recognising that some of their audience consisted of Australians managed to incorporate Australian sheep farmers into the story.

The New Routine

With just over three full weeks down I have noticed a change in our morning routine.  Initially our routine would start with Annika's alarm going off triggering me to get dressed and walk to the Backerei while Annika got up, got ready for work and made the coffee.  Then we would have breakfast together and I would walk her to the train.  I have started to notice a trend that is influencing our morning routine and imagine that in the near future our routine will be as follows.

The alarm will go off and I will get up.  Annika will turn the alarm off, roll over and go back to sleep.  I will get dressed and gently wake Annika and remind her she has to get ready for work at which point she will leap out of bed, rush to the toilet then return to bed and promptly fall asleep.  Once I have my boots and coat on I will gently wake Annika and remind her that she has to get ready for work.  I will walk to the Backerei returning 10 minutes later and once more I will gently wake Annika and remind her that she has to get ready for work.  I will make coffee and set the breakfast table then I will gently wake Annika and remind her that she has to get ready for work.

Ich habe Gicht

Just over two years ago some very good friends (or on reflection maybe they weren't such good friends) bought me a voucher to U-Brew It, a company specialising in allowing the individual to brew their own beer.  So armed with a gift voucher and a very enthusiastic Richard Tweedie I made my way to the U Brew It brewery.  I could go on about how well set up the facility was, how impressive and numerous was the list of beers that could be brewed and how cheap it was in comparison to buying beer retail but I won't.  I will just say that the yob in me selected the beer with highest alcohol content and that we brewed over 96 bottles of the stuff.  On sampling our brew everyone agreed that it was indeed a very likeable beer and that two bottles of the stuff on a warm summers afternoon would have you passed out under the table before you could ask "How strong is that beer?"

With a half share of 96 bottles of "Old St Nicks" in the fridge I was conscious of the fact that the nectar was brewed without preservatives and that it did have a shelf life.  So of course I did my best to ensure that none of it would go to waste.  Some days later as I got ready for bed I noticed that my right big toe was a little sore, as if I had stubbed it.  The next morning it felt as if I had kicked a wall.  I limped to the bus and went to work.  By 10 that morning I had to remove my shoe because the pain was so great, by lunch time I couldn't put any weight on it at all.  It felt as if a car had driven over it.  I gave in and phoned Annika to ask if she could pick me up and take me to a doctor.  The doctor listened to my tale of woe, took one look at my foot and announced that I was displaying the classic symptoms of gout.  I vehemently disagreed with him because everyone knows that gout is for fat old men in dressing gowns with a fondness for brandy.  I think he briefly considered making a wager with me before deciding it was unethical.  He suggested a blood test and prescribed some wonder pills.  Within a couple of hours of taking the wonder pills all symptoms had disappeared, the following day the blood test confirmed elevated levels of uric acid in my blood, itself confirming that I had suffered from gout.

Why should I mention this now?  Well two days a ago my right ankle began to ache a little, within a day the pain had moved to my big toe and was reminiscent of that October morning over two years ago.  Belatedly I went into gout damage control, that is, I immediately stopped consuming any source of purins (leberwurst, blutwurst, etc) and stopped drinking copious amounts of alcohol.  Too little, too late.  Luckily we live close to a hospital which has a GP in attendance for such trivial matters, unfortunately for me he didn't know of the wonder pills previously prescribed to me in Australia and could only provide some heavy duty pain killers.  So today I sit in the living room, foot numb and elevated, typing whilst, Annika, Florian and Melanie are in the kitchen making Bratkartofel for lunch.  How all three of them are managing to fit in our kitchen at once is beyond me, I think Melanie might be on Florian's shoulders.

On reflection I have been drinking a little bit more than usual, for instance take last Wednesday when Harri the Finn, Beelzebub incarnate, forced me to drink 2 Mass of beer.  Then that night we went out for dinner with Christoph and Tania at the place which had continuous happy hour on cocktails. 

The Apartment

Annika and I both feel that we have been very fortunate with our current apartment.  We booked it online based on its location to Annika's work and the few photos we had seen.  When we arrived we quickly realised that we had chosen well.  The apartment is only 3 years old, it is right next to a beautiful park and a U bahn station.  It is 15 minutes door to door for Annika to get to work.  I can cycle into the centre of Munich in about 10-15 minutes.  We can walk to 2 swimming pools as well as supermarkets, bakeries, butchers grocers etc. The apartment itself is light and roomy with under floor heating, excellent noise and thermal insulation.  We are on a fairly busy street but with the windows closed you can't hear a thing.  In fact the first morning spent hear I wondered why I couldn't hear church bells and thought we must be too far from any church not realising that the bells were peeling away as usual just not heard inside our flat.  After a few days the shine started to fade as we realised that the apartment had been furnished with exceptionally cheap furniture and that we had to take extra care when opening and closing draws in case they fell apart in our hands.

The apartment is a short stay agreement and come the end of March we have to find a more permanent abode.  This was supposedly one of my tasks, being the gentleman of leisure that I am, but Annika couldn't help herself and with the estate agent web sites listing in German she could access a lot more information than I. As an aside I should point out that there are some major differences to renting a place in Germany than back home.  The first is that agents charge a commission on finding you a place and they do not manage the rental agreement.  So, where as, in Australia the agent will take 12% of the rent for the duration of the tenancy, in Germany the agent will charge a one off commission and then have nothing further to do with the tenancy.  The rental contract being directly between the owner and the tenant.  This one off commission is expensive and can be as much as 3 months rent.  The next major difference is that when you rent a place you, more often than not, don't get a kitchen.  The kitchen will be empty of everything, with only some connections for water, waste, gas etc.  We knew all this when moved to Munich and knew that we would have to buy some furniture and possibly a kitchen when found our permanent address.

So now the good bit.  As we were so taken with the location of our temporary accommodation Annika tried looking for something close by, she also found a website listing places which weren't using agents.  Lo and behold, there in the exact same building we were living in was a place for rent.  We contacted the owners and were invited up stairs to view their place.  A few posts ago I mentioned that we had dinner with a couple we had just met and that there was some ulterior motive for doing so.  Well Christoph and Tania are our neighbours from up stairs and they are moving to the States for a couple of years for work.  They want to rent their new, beautifully fitted out and furnished apartment to a responsible, caring couple.  They couldn't find anyone so they have settled on us.  In truth they are a really nice couple and we have immediately become friends.  At the time of writing we have been for dinner twice and have plans for a third time before they leave.

To round it all up.  We get to live in their beautiful flat for the next 1 - 2 years, which is two floors up  but is by far better than the one we currently have.  It comes with an underground parking space (which I shall describe later as it a marvel of modern engineering) and a storage room all of which our current place does not have.  We don't have to pay an agent an exorbitant commission, we don't have to buy any furniture, the kitchen is all there and of exceptional quality and we don't have to change our postal address.  All this and it costs less than the place we are currently renting.  How good is that?  In truth it is still a bit more than what we had budgeted for based on Annika's single income but we can afford it for a year.  It just means either I will have to find a job or we will have to  continue o drink 1.50 Euro bottles of wine.

The first interview of the year

I had my first job interview today.  It was with a company that wants to build a geothermal power station about an hour South of Munich.  The interview was at two o'clock which meant I had to attend  my German classes in der anzug (suit) as I didn't think there was enough time for me to get home and change prior to the interview.  It turns out I was wrong.

I left that morning wearing my suit, grabbing an umbrella on the way out because fronting up to an interview for a project management position looking like a drowned rat would not exactly sell my skills in forward planning and risk assessment.  As I left the apartment I realised that I did not have the address for the interview written down but, being the modern, technically astute individual that I am I was not particularly worried.  I had my iPhone with me so i could access my email and google maps from a wifi hotspot that I knew, conveniently close to my German class.  The class went by as usual.  I received the obvious questions about the suit and Harri the Finn, Beelzebub incarnate recommended having a few beers with him before the interview to settle my nerves.  I talked him into having a coffee instead.  This is where things started to go amiss.  The hotspot which had worked perfectly on previous occasions refused to cooperate.  Kein problem, resort to 3G and increase Telstra's first quarter earnings by 2%.  No deal Telstra and I weren't on speaking terms any more.

This is when I found out that I could get back to the flat, boot up my laptop, confirm the address, load the U bahn itinerary onto the iPhone, catch the said U Zug and get to the interview with seconds to spare.  It will be handy to know, if I ever get the position, that I can make it door to door in a little under half an hour.  The interview went well, at least it did for me.  I was very interested to hear what they were doing and how they planned to implement it. We parted with a definite assurance that there may or may not be another interview.  I had previously had a phone interview with this company back in October last year and now I know there schedule I don't think they will be rushing into committing to anything just yet.  I do expect to hear from them one way or the other but I don't think it will be in the next couple of weeks.

Der Hund ist weiss

I am writing this literally minutes after returning from my German lessons.  The lesson itself was fairly normal other than we had a new teacher.  She was accompanied by her dog, a small rat like creature that she was clearly very fond of.  We spent a small portion of the lesson discussing the dogs diarrhoea, which I have to admit didn't fascinate me at all.  However in an attempt to expose us, the students, to German culture, the school arranged for us to go to typical German restaurant for Mittagessen.  Harri, the Finn, who I truly believe is the devil incarnate,  had barely set foot inside the restaurant before ordering ein Mass for him and his friends.  Ein Mass is a 1 litre glass of beer. Some 15 minutes later I accused Harri of nursing his beer and even inquired if he had given it a name yet.  Needless to say I ordered us another Mass each.

The partners in crime from my class. All the squids form other classes are out of shot.

Mittagessen was enjoyable to say the least.  Only the larrikins and the professionally challenged from my class attended and I am proud to say that, out of all the other classes, we were that loudest and most obnoxious people on the table (and the last to leave).  Justin, who has the ignorance of youth coupled with the arrogance of being a white South African kept the conversation boiling.  I can't begin to say how much I enjoyed sharing a meal und ein Bier with a Finn, an Argentinean, a Afrikaans and an American.

Ich lerne jetzt Deutsch

The German classes have started and for a brief moment in time I was the star pupil.  Thanks to meine Frau (und Katarina) ich spreche ein bisschen Deutsch .  The teacher had me move and sit between two pupils that were struggling, at least that was my interpretation of events.  Alas my fifteen minutes of fame are gone and now, on the second day, I am struggling.  The classes are tough because everything is spoken in Deutsch.  Which requires considerable skill in both teaching and pantomime for the teacher to get their lesson across to the students.  None the less they are enjoyable and I am inspired to study hard.  My class mates are; an American, an Italian, a Gambian, a Turk, an Argentinean, a South African, a Russian and a Finn.  I have become instant friends with Harri, the Finn.  We are both from a mechanical background, our partners work in Munchen and we share a fondness for cycling and German beer.

This afternoon, after the lesson, Harri and I sat at a table in the sun, on the corner of the street in Munich drinking some beer and reflecting on this mornings lesson.  I realised that I had fulfilled a dream.

Welche Sprachen sprechen Sie

The above sentence is my favourite German sentence other than Zwei Bier bitte und meine Frau zahlt.  To pronounce it properly you have to pretend that you are a cat blessed with the uncanny ability to talk but you have a lisp and have just been cornered by a dog.  My German teacher is trying to convince us that Deutsch is a sexy language.  I think she is fighting a losing battle.  Roland, Erika, Christiane, Sebastian, Katarina, Marco, Daniela, Jens and Anja, if you are out there, I am sorry to say it but Brustwarze is not, by any stretch of the imagination, sexy.

I digress.  The snow has gone.  The temperature has gone up and the sky is clear blue.  The above photo is from Luitpold Park and is looking South.  The building to the left foreground is our flat and those darkish bumpy things on the horizon are the Alps.  I could ride to them in a less than a day.

Dein Fahrrad ist blau

rOne of our tasks for the trip to Grossbrembach was to retrieve Annika's bicycle from it's tomb in her parents garage where it has laid dormant for the past 8 years.  Saturday morning was spent resurrecting the leviathan which didn't take much more than pumping the tyres up.  Annika's dad had ensured that the bike had been stored thoughtfully.  The bike is a typical German city bike, meaning that it is large, robust, ungainly, heavy and comfortable to ride short distances.  However it scores over my fixed wheel mongrel in some very poignant respects.  It has mud guards, it has gears, it has a basket for shopping and a rear pannier.  The next task was to disassemble it so that it could fit into the BMW whilst allowing room for Michael and our luggage.  This is the sort of job I like and it gave me a chance to get my hands on my father in-law and grandfather in-law's tools.  I warmed my hands first of course.

 

The rest of the day was spent celebrating Annika's mother's birthday, which meant essen, essen und trinken, trinken.  Attached photos show a light mid afternoon snack in the above followed by a small supper (right) a few seconds later.  Note that my iPhone had it's own place set at the table.  I am exceptionally lucky in that not only is my mother in law a kind and lovely woman, she is also the best maker of cakes that I have ever known and that includes the nameless French chef that baked my family the cake, a going away gift as we left a hotel somewhere in France when I was 9 years old.  That cake was so good it left a permanent mark on a 9 year old child that he has carried through out his life.

Das Auto ist Schwarz

Annika's mum, Christine, celebrated her birthday over the weekend.  We couldn't miss the celebration so decided to make our way to GrossBrembach to join in.  Our options to get there were train, car pool or hire a car.  Luckily Annika's new job comes complete with a corporate rate with Sixt, coupled to which, one of our friends, Michael, wanted to go home for the weekend as well, so, as they say in the Oil & Gas industry, it was very cost effective for us to hire a car.

So on Friday afternoon I met Annika at the local BMW dealership, which also, coincidently, happened to have a Sixt counter buried within.  I say coincidently because I suspect that there maybe some Gentleman's agreement between BMW and Sixt.  We had chosen a diesel VW Golf as our preferred ride but when it came to collection it seemed there wasn't a VW to be found on the BMW premises.  So we were upgraded to a 1 series BMW but they didn't have any of those either so we were upgraded to a 3 series BMW.  That suited me just fine as I have a soft spot, which occasionally becomes quite hard, for BMWs.

We found our Black 318D in the basement sitting poised ready for action.  After a quick familiarisation session we were ready to go.  As we negotiated the car park the 318D, instantly recognising we were in a parking situation, gave us visual and audible feedback as to where we were in relation to things external to our car.  I will digress a moment and speak about my lovely wife.  In our early days together I found out that Annika had only one means of communicating the fact that she was uncomfortable with something external to the vehicle in which we were travelling.  That thing could be, for instance; a pedestrian about to cross the road without looking, a cyclist travelling on the wrong side of the road, a car broken down on the side of the road or a car indicating to change lanes in front of us.  The means of communication that she employed was to clutch the dash board and scream loudly.  It took quite some time for me to convince her that a far more effective means of communication, offering me as the driver a far more effective means of avoiding what ever it was she was concerned about, was to describe what was causing her concern.  Unfortunately, back in that cold basement car park, with the 318D beeping and flashing, she resorted to her old ways.  I stopped the car and we had a conversation about how far we had to drive and how important it was that the driver should be alert, confident and to some degree relaxed and that having the passenger scream every time the car beeped was not going to be conducive to a comfortable and safe journey.  Once we were "aligned", which in the Oil & Gas industry means that the client has convinced the contractor to do what the client wants and not what the contractor wants, we got on our way.

Fifteen minutes later we picked up Michael then we were heading North.  Driving the diesel BMW on the autobahn I couldn't help but remember my dad's old diesel ute which had a 2.2L engine, a top speed of 120kph and 0 to 100 in 8 minutes.  The BMW had a 1.8L engine, a top speed of 220kph and 0 to 100 in 8 seconds and still managed to get 7.2L per 100kms over the entire journey.  I love driving in Germany, I mean it, I really do.  Driving at 170-180km/h on a road that is more like a race track, Annika and Michael talking without needing to shout, the stereo playing quietly in the background.  Other people on the road knowing how to drive, using their mirrors, being courteous, it is fantastic.  When I say 170-180km/h I don't mean sneaking up to those speeds occasionally, I mean that when the speed limit permitted, which was more often than not, that was the speed we were doing.  The BMW guzzling down diesel at a rate of between 5 and 8 L/100kms depending whether we were going up or down a hill.

We arrived at Annika's Mum & Dads in time for abend essen and a nice refreshing beer.  It was good to be back in Grossbrembach with Annika's family.

Heat wave

As I walked through Luitpold Park this morning I knew that it was the last time that I would see it covered in snow for a while.  We are driving North to Weimar to spend the weekend with Annika's parents and the forecast is for warmer weather so there is little chance the Park will still be draped in white when we return.  I am a little sad about that.


Yesterday I signed up at the local library so Annika & I can now borrow DVDs and CDs.  I also took the bike out again to get a few photos whilst the snow is still with us.  Riding a fixie through slush is entertaining and messy.  The narrow tyres just don't handle the slush and I find myself sliding all over the place as other cyclists riding bikes equipped with sensible tyres and gears cruised past me.  My bike is now covered in mud.  I think riding a fixie in Munchen is like being a home boy.  I think it is really cool and the rest of the population think I am a dick head.

The Interview

I have been sending my CV out to anybody and everybody since I arrived and today I received an invitation for an interview.  It was all in Deutsche so I used the incredibly helpful and easy to use Google translate application.  Here is the unadulterated text.

ehr Mr. Kramer,

the Group Function Innovation, Site & Mechanical Engineering would like to invite you for an interview.

The following dates are available:

Thursday, 17th February,
Thursday, 24th February
Wed, 2nd March
Thursday, 3rd March

each of 15 clock.

Please tell us which date you would be comfortable. You can call us any time. If you need a hotel reservation, we can make love to you.

Yours sincerely,

Note the last line.  It goes without saying that I will be fronting up for this one.  Should I ask for a photo first?


Obviously someone at Google is taking the piss.  Even with my small understanding of German I can't see how they got "we can make love to you" from "können wir diese für Sie gerne vornehmen".  Still funny though.  Try it yourself.  Paste the following into google translate.


Falls Sie eine Hotelreservierung benötigen, können wir diese für Sie gerne vornehmen.

A day of firsts

Today the inevitable happened.  My usual route through the park has me following a broad path up the hill to one of three view points.  From there I head down, following either of two minor paths.  These minor paths are not dressed with gravel and have become hard packed and icy so a great deal of care is taken negotiating my way down.  Today however the usually treacherous ice covered paths seemed to have changed composition, offering the wayward explorer firmer footing.  I was just thinking to myself how pleasant it was to be walking with confidence in my every step when I suddenly found myself on my back with sore wrists and a bruised arse.

After I had recovered my dignity I continued my walk. The second first of the day was when I saw a woodpecker.  Occasionally I have heard a woodpecker whilst walking in the park but have never seen it.  Today with sky clear for the second time since arriving I saw the little blighter, high up in a tree relentlessly banging is head against a branch.  I tried to take photo but it only shows what may or may not be a bird high up in a tree.  I stood and watched the woodpecker for a long while until the third first of the day happened.  I had a conversation in German with a complete stranger. A lady walking her dog noticed me watching the woodpecker and wanted to know where it was.  I proudly pointed out my pecker to her.  She rattled some more German to me and I told her that I couldn't speak German.  She nodded sagely, then continued speaking Deutsche.  She told me that there were two types of woodpecker in the park and we both agreed that it was wonderful to see them in the centre of Munich.  She said she had lived in Munich for more than 50 years, and that, when she was little Luitpold Park used to be home for some brown four legged animals, she could have been referring to marmots or maybe beavers or even a bear, I will never know.

Der Schlussel Conundrum

Whilst walking Annika to the train this morning we saw that somebody had left their car keys in the door of their car.  I retrieved the keys and checked for a number or address.  It had neither.  We waited for a while to see if someone returned for them but no one was forthcoming.  What should we do?  Leave the keys where we found them and hope that some less honest person didn't help them self to the car?  Do we keep the keys and leave a note with our contact details?  Do we move the car a few spaces forward then return the keys to the door?  Do we move the car into somebody elses parking bay beneath our apartment and leave it there?  Do we just keep the keys and save ourselves the cost of hiring a car when we want to go somewhere?  Do we open the car, hide a pickled herring under the back seat then return the keys to where we found them.  The possibilities were endless.

 In the end we kept the keys and left a note with our contact details.

Things that are cool Part 1

Squirrels are cool, way cool.  With their manic, scampering paranoia they are great fun to watch.  We watched a pair of them from our bedroom window this morning.  A black one and a red one.  The black one was set on having a quiet morning stroll up a tree whilst the red one was set on making the black one's life a misery.  It would do this by running around the trunk of the tree until it was on the left of the black one.  When the black one would turn to face it, it would run around behind the tree and approach it on the right.  At which point the black one would turn to face it, then the red one would run around behind the tree and approach it on the left.  So the long winters morning would pass by.

Another thing that is cool is my new bike lock.  My old bike lock being locked in the bike locker at 100 St Georges Tce. Pia? Hint? Hint?  Before I bought this marvel of German engineering I asked the bike shop attendant whether bike theft was common in Munich.  There was a pause as he considered his options.  Option 1. Say that bike theft is common and potentially make a minor sale on a new lock today.  Option 2. Say that bike theft is not common and with a bit of luck my bike will be stolen and potentially make a bigger sale on a new bike in the near future.  He was clearly Gen Y and wanted his cash now so went for option 1 and I have a new really impressive bike lock.

Pateret Ostiumosis

I write this blog because I want to record what is happening at the time and what I am feeling.  So ultimately I will have to write about Annika as she is such a big part of my life.  I also know that she is the number one follower of what I write here so if you do follow this blog then watch out for posts that appear briefly only to be removed moments later.  Thus signifying that the editor in chief is not happy.

I love my wife dearly and there is not a day that goes by that I don't thank my lucky stars that I met her but with every relationship there are certain things one must learn to live with. For instance few people know that Annika suffers from a rare and luckily non-debilitating psychological disorder called Pateret Ostiumosis.  Victims of Pateret Ostiumosis are rendered incapable of closing draws and cupboard doors.  If you can remember the scene from The Sixth Sense where Toni Collette turns her back on her son for a moment only to turn around and find all the cupboard doors and draws opened mysteriously, that is what it is like living with someone that has Pateret Ostiumosis.  When I first found out about Annika's condition I did my best to make our place Pateret Ostiumosis friendly by fitting soft close easy glide draws and doors on all the cabinets and chests of draws.  This helped a little and enabled her, if she concentrated really hard, to close every second draw she opened.  Now we are in  a different apartment I fear this dreadful condition has renewed its grip on her.  It is tough living with someone with Pateret Ostiumosis but it can also be rewarding.  The joy I get when I see Annika close a draw on her own free volition is almost indescribable.

Fixamotis

Luitpold Park

I decided to stop thinking about it and finally do it today.  I took the bike out for a ride in Munchen.  It was -6° so I put on my light merino, my mid weight merino, my heavy weight merino, a woollen jumper, my polatec fleece, my woollen beanie and my ski gloves.  I rode from the flat to the English Garden using The Force to guide me.  I have to say that I really enjoyed cruising the streets and cycleways.  The uncertainty about whether you have right of way or if you are allowed to ride on the wrong side road or not is quite exhilerating.  I rode on cobblestones for the first time and can honestly say they suck.

The English Garden

Once I reached the English Garden I was off the tarmacadam and onto the snow and ice, by this time I had began to lose sensation in my fingers.  I cruised through the park heading South.  I was heading to the local break to see if anyone was catching any waves.  I had my doubts that anyone would be out in sub zero temperatures but to my surprise there were a few surfers in their super steamers having some fun.  For those that don't know Munich has it's own surf break.  You have to wear a steamer or preferably a dry suit and you can only use a short board but it is a popular break none the less.  Jack Johnson has even surfed it.

The local break