Salzburg

So we were at a loose end, as it were, for Easter.  Luckily the cost of a train ticket to Salzburg was inexpensive and the trains departed frequently.  We weren't set to a particular time table so there was no stress about leaving, we simply packed what we needed, jumped on our bikes and rode to the Hauptbahnhof.  The regional trains are set up for bikes, you just have to find a carriage with a bike symbol on the side and jump on board.  The bikes can be locked down stairs whilst you sit in comfort upstairs.

2 hours later we were in Salzburg.  Salzburg the birthplace of Mozart.  Historically significant because Austrias greatest composer was born there and of course because of the abundance of easily attainable salt, hence the name Salzberg.  Poetic licence had not been granted in the middle ages thus the names of places were not very imaginative.   Our hotel was just down the road from the Bahnhof and next to the river Salzach.  We unpacked and headed into town, choosing to leg it rather than take the Deadly Treadlies.  First impressions were good, it was warm and people were out by the river taking advantage of the late afternoon sun.  We wandered into the Altstatd and marvelled at the Schloß. Dinner was at The Waldmann, on the recommendation of a random stranger.  Annika has developed this charming habit of asking complete strangers where the best places to eat are.  Her selection of strangers is not totally random as I had previously alluded to.  She does in fact scrutinise each stranger with the aim of determining if they are a local or a tourist.  The locals are treated to a winning smile and a polite inquiry whilst the tourists are treated with the disdain that they so obviously deserve.

On the way home we chose to walk through Mirabellgarten and we were rewarded by a spectacular display of tulips. Spectacular is an understatement by the way.  I have a new appreciation of the Great Tulip Crash of The Dutch Golden Age in 1637.

Saturday morning had us wandering down the local café strip in search of Früstück.  We found it in a café that turned out to be vegetarian, the coffee was good though.  Next we decided to ride South down the river to Waldbad Anif.  Here we were treated by the sight of trout and tits. The trout were in the water and the tits were beside the water.  I never cease to be impressed by European women's love of the sun and for their propensity to sun bathe topless . It is easy to recognise a wealthy middle aged Austrian woman because she will have a face like a prune, tanned nut brown and breasts that she can tie a reef knot with or perhaps even a bow line.

From the tits and trout we made our way to Schloß Hellbrun.  Where we spent the afternoon lazily wheeling our bikes around the grounds. We climbed to the local vantage point to see the view and escape the tourists. From here we could look across the valley to Salzburg and not even know it was there, hidden as it were by the Schloß and its' berg.

The ride back was amazing.  We rode down a boulevard of large trees that led directly to Salzberg, dodging the pedestrians.  We decided to have an early dinner at the Stiegel Keller above the city on yet another recommendation gleaned by Annika from an unsuspecting local.   The Stiegel Keller is good and I am a bit reluctant to comment about it on such a public forum, afraid that I may contravene the laws of tourist attraction of which the Stiegel Keller is a prime example of Euler's first law.

If one applies Euler's first law of tourist transfer it is immediately apparent that a tourists interest in an attraction varies inversely with the amount of effort required to view that attraction.  Furthermore it can be seen that the relationship is exponentially decaying such that if you plotted the number of tourists (ordinate) against the level of effort required to view an attraction (abscissa) the number of tourists would reduce exponentially as the level of effort increased.  Further more when La Place's theorem of obesity and it's resulting gravitational attraction is applied the aforementioned relationship is further compounded, with each new tourist drawing yet further tourists to the attraction but only when said tourists are within the immediate vicinity of the point of interest and the level of effort required is minimal.  This phenomena can be observed time and time again in Europe with Salzburg being a prime example.

Me doing my Hugh Jackman impersonation, it's uncanny.

One can demonstrate La Place's theorem quite easily at almost any tourist local that is rich in attractions.  Simply stop and look up at some random piece of architecture.  Look at intently for a while and perhaps take a few photos.  Before too long you will be joined by others wondering what you have found.  The more astute will move on quickly but the majority will stay, too worried that they will miss out on some obscure, yet startlingly important piece of history, afraid that they will return home and their well travelled friends will say.  "Oh you were in Sienna.  You must have seen the Prophetic Brick of the Twelve Apostles set high into the wall in that little alleyway just down from the Piazza del Campo".  The very fact that people have stopped to wonder at the imaginary attraction will draw even more people to it.  Once critical mass has been achieved the system becomes self perpetuating and one can step away and observe the phenomenon.

The journey home was interrupted by possibly the best Apple Strudel I have ever had.

Sunday morning found us back on the café strip enjoying Frühstück.  Then it was a walk up to the Schloß for a little culture and history.  Once our collective cultural cups were full we decided to explore the hill directly across the river. It was a bit of an enigma because in a country where space was limited and a city where real estate was scarce the hill across from the Schloß was empty, with nothing but trees and the remnants of the old city wall.  Finding a route up the hill suitable for a fixie was difficult and in the end, when finally faced with a never ending set of steps, we chose to lock the bikes together and walk up.  At the top we were amazed to find a small Bier Garten in a converted fortification.  (we weren't really that amazed, I think we were more amazed to find only one)  Once again Euler's first law applied and the Bier Garten was quiet.

I had a little moment on the fixie on the way down.  I have a problem with riding over curbs at acute angles of approach.  It is an affliction I have borne since learning to ride and one that James can attest to. It is all about timing, or more specifically the lack there of. When you want to jump a curb on a bicycle it should be a matter of pulling the front wheel up just before you hit the curb then flicking the back wheel up an over. My problem is that I get lazy with second bit and this leads to problems if the approach angle is acute.  In this situation the back wheel may choose to track along the curb rather than up and over it which invariably results in bike going in different direction to that of your body.  I managed to address the problem of my bicycle beginning to disappear from beneath me by putting a foot down and kicking the bike up right.  This worked very well in that it managed to get the bike over the curb and back underneath me but didn't work that well in avoiding a large ivy covered wall.

After my near miss with death we headed back into the Altstadt to visit Mozarts birth place.  It is now a museum full of interesting things from the period Mozart was alive, some of which actually belonged to Mozart. Dinner was once again at the Stiegel Keller followed by Strudel at the café strip.

Monday was our last day and we decided to try the Früstück in the hotel.  We wanted to walk along the old city walls in the park so rode to start and then walked up past the monastery. Our wanderings eventually took us back to the small beer garten where we stopped for a refreshing beer.  We had one more task before we caught the train home and that was to blow more than the cost of a meal on some cheese and sausage in the Altstadt Markt.  The Truffle Camembert was worth it