The first is that something I have long suspected was confirmed for me just last week at an Accenture group love in and dick pulling session. It is official, I am the best of the best. It was on a power point presentation for all to see so it is beyond refuting. Where I sit amongst the other participants was not clear and to date I do not know if I am the best of the best of the best or if I am the worst of the best of the best. I imagine I am probably the just ok of the best of the best. Maybe if I wear the right suit, suck up to the right people and develop the right attitude I can become second best of the best of the best. I don´t think I can ever become the best of the best of the best because of my self esteem issues.
The second thing is that the toilets in BP Sunbury were designed by a woman. I know this because only a woman would chose to fit out a men´s toilet without a urinal. And it would be all part of a subtle plan to get back at all the men in her life that used to piss on the toilet floor. Not having a urinal is no problem if you want to take a piss but if you are planning on dropping the Cosby kids off at the pool you had better have second thoughts, unless walking around with piss soaked strides features in your career advancement strategy. If there is one thing that has made me want to improve my aim and the aim of every other bloke I work with, it has been using the crappers at BP Sunbury.
