I would like to share two things that have no relation to each other.

The first is that something I have long suspected was confirmed for me just last week at an Accenture group love in and dick pulling session.  It is official, I am the best of the best.  It was on a power point presentation for all to see so it is beyond refuting.  Where I sit amongst the other participants was not clear and to date I do not know if I am the best of the best of the best or if I am the worst of the best of the best.  I imagine I am probably the just ok of the best of the best.  Maybe if I wear the right suit, suck up to the right people and develop the right attitude I can become second best of the best of the best.  I don´t think I can ever become the best of the best of the best because of my self esteem issues.

The second thing is that the toilets in BP Sunbury were designed by a woman. I know this because only a woman would chose to fit out a men´s toilet without a urinal.  And it would be all part of a subtle plan to get back at all the men in her life that used to piss on the toilet floor.  Not having a urinal is no problem if you want to take a piss but if you are planning on dropping the Cosby kids off at the pool you had better have second thoughts, unless walking around with piss soaked strides features in your career advancement strategy.   If there is one thing that has made me want to improve my aim and the aim of every other bloke I work with, it has been using the crappers at BP Sunbury.

Microstuffed

With-in a week of buying my second laptop I had turned off Windows automatic updates.   Being deeply suspicious of Microsoft I opted to choose when and what I would update my operating system with.  So for the past 4 years this laptop has worked almost seamlessly, this included buggering around with it and installing a dual boot so that it could run either XP or Vista.  Even after doing this the laptop remained remarkably stable in either operating system and gave me years of pain free use.

Then I did a bit of consulting work for a small geothermal development company which required me to have a copy of MS Project loaded.  Their resident IT guru chided me for turning Windows Automatic updates off, citing that I needed many of the numerous error fix patches so he could load MS Project.  So I reactivated the update function and spent many happy hours catching up on all those important updates I had missed out on.  So now I can safely say that the days of trouble free computing are over.  My Laptop now repeatedly crashes and has become increasingly slower and slower with every log-in.  Finally culminating, the other night in becoming completely unusable.   The system was tied up running numerous scvhost.exe processes.  A quick search reveals that I am not alone in having this problem and that it was caused by “A problem with Windows automatic update”  Subsequent updates to fix the problem didn´t work.  I imagine that  MS is doing all it can now to remedy the situation and are probably offering suggestions like “Why not upgrade to Windows 7, it works fine.”

I have a friend that hates Apple and all its products (although he has never owned one) he thinks Windows rocks.  I think he is a wanker.

I might try loading Ubuntu.

Joining the club

I guess the time has come when I can join the ranks of my male friends that have already experienced this moment.  The moment when your wife or partner shows you a small black and white photo of something resembling a jelly bean surrounded by white noise ands says "I could see the heart beating."  That is the moment when your heart stops and all your worries and insecurities come rushing to front of your mind and momentarily you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders.  Then from nowhere a feeling of joy starts to well from within, displacing all your concerns and replacing them with a single feeling of happiness.

Unser Hochzeittag (Anniversary)

It has been ages since I sat down and wrote my blog.  As mentioned previously I don't always write things chronologically.  As I write this there are at least 5 other entries pending release and when I say "entries" I am being very generous in my description, in most cases they are just a place holder or some bullets points to remind me what we have been up to.

Tonight, however, I intend to publish this entry and finish the others some time in the not too distant future.  The reason I have been so tardy in keeping up on top of things is that my free time has been drastically reduced.  I have a job, I am gainfully employed, ich habe Arbeit.  The jury is still deciding whether this is a good thing or not.  I shouldn't complain because on the whole I have a very good deal.  I attend German class in the morning and in the afternoon I work a half day for a Geothermal Power Company, what is more, my place of work is a 20 minute ride from school, a ride that takes me through the Englisch Garten and then down the banks of the Isar.  A more picturesque commute would be hard to imagine.  However it is a small company and they do things differently to what I am used to.  As some one very wise once said "I don't have a problem with going to work it is just the waiting to go home that bothers me."

Yesterday was our anniversary, we have been married for 2 years.  2 whole years have flown by since Annika and I were married in Grossbrembach in front of our family and friends.  We celebrated the day by going out for dinner.  There were no gifts exchanged other than a single red rose that I bought Annika on the way home from work. Our choice of restaurant was a place not too far from  here and was chosen because we had a voucher there for a three course meal including champagne. (I have to continually fight the urge to start nouns with a capital letter, learning German has corrupted me I fear) Annika has discovered a website which sells vouchers and they are usually of exceptional value.  Last nights' was a perfect example.

We rode our bikes there and we never left the cycle path.  I think we must have crossed two sets of lights on the whole journey.  The restaurant was in a new Hotel (you see I can't help myself) and was very chic but quiet.  We had three people serving us during the night and they did an excellent job.  The meal was exceptional and the champagne included was Moet.  The set menu was a tempura risotto, followed by a fillet with sweet potato grattin and ratatouille then a chocolate fondue (all captured here for posterity).  In all we had an exception meal with wonderful wine for less than €60.

Starnberger See

The Sunday after our epic ride to Augsburg and an indulgent meal with Berndt and Verena we decided to visit Starnberger See.  Starnberger See may, or may not be, the largest lake in Germany.  It is surrounded by expensive architecturally designed house with expensive cars parked out the front.  If you want to get away from it all and relax Starnberger See may not be the best place to go.  As it is on the S-Bahn it is very easy to get to from München and a very popular day outing.  We spent our time wandering around checking out the public access points.  Being in Europe access to the shore is limited, the majority being privately owned.

Proof that Budgie Smugglers are attractive

Augsburg - mein Arsch tut mir weh

Annika attempting to high 5 a total stranger

Feeling adventurous we decided to accept an invitation to join Melanie and her friend on a ride to Augsburg.  Augsburg is famous for not being München and is 65km away.  A daunting ride on a fixed wheel bicycle.  To celebrate our impending journey I decided to wear my clip-in shoes.  I haven't ridden with cleats for quite a while so it was with a little trepidation that we rolled down Belgrad Straße that morning.  We met Melanie and her friend Daniel at her place.  We did introductions, checked out each others ride then started our journey.  I think I might have made about 4 meters before I fell off, falling for the old "put your foot down on the same side of the bike that you intend to lean to not the other way round" trick.  Daniel watched my untangle myself from my bike and pick myself off the ground before enquiring as to whether I had actually ridden any sort of distance on a bicycle before.  I tried to put him at ease by confidently recounting my cycling exploits back in Australia.  He wasn't convinced.

I think he relaxed a little bit once we had reached the 40km mark and I had proved that I could easily keep pace with him on the flat even though I had only one gear.  The ride was really good.  We went from village to village, riding on quiet country roads, taking it in turns to ride along side each other and chat.  The weather was wonderful and I actually got sunburnt.  We arrived in Augsburg around 4pm after covering 73 km in less time than we had imagined.  We celebrated with a beer and a few photos.  Annika and I chose to catch the train home as we were running out of time and a little sore in the arse.  Daniel and Melanie opted to ride back to München.  Hard core.  We, of course, would have joined them but we had a dinner appointment to keep.


Dinner that night was with Berndt and Verena (our contracted friends) and our other neighbours, Daniel and Franzi.  A lovely night with lots of bbq meat, delicious salads and too much wine.  Annika introduced everyone to the Timtam straws.

Kramer and the Beer Factory

Cultural experience number 5 with the language class was a visit to the Spaten-Franzikaner-Löwenbräu Brewery in München.  The brewery has occupied the same site in down town München since 1854.  The place was just like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory only the Oompa Loompas were bigger and the chocolate fountain was, of course, a beer fountain.  The tour was spoken in Deutsch and luckily because of prior brewing knowledge I understood most of what was going on.  I came away with three poignant facts.  They produce an awful lot of beer, the average number of times a glass bottle is recycled is 21 and that the cost to deck out 6 normal wagon horses in traditional livery for Oktoberfest was over €700,000.

12 lucky and girls and boys were chosen to go upstairs to the senior management canteen to sample the product.  In Australia this would mean that you get a thimble full of their least expensive product.  In Germany it means you sit around a big table and a kind lady takes your order.  The beer is served in halves but this means half a litre and there are bretzels for as far as the eye can see.  The organiser of the event did a sterling job but let herself down at the last moment when she failed to account for some fundamental cultural differences.  Instead of saying we need to leave here at 6pm she said you can only order beer until 6pm then we must leave.  The difference is subtle but the consequences are far reaching.  For an Irishman, an Australian and 3 Koreans all we heard was you have 45 minutes to neck as much beer as possible.  The Koreans led the charge with the ambition of sampling all the beers produced in 500mL increments.  For myself and the Irishman we knew what we liked and stuck to it.  For me it was Dunkel Weißbier, for him it was a Helles. For the last round I whispered the magic words "Haben Sie Stark Bier" to the kind lady and verily there came 5 Stark Biers with their froth flowing, over their taste dark and malty and an alcohol content approaching that of a good Shiraz.

I rode home that afternoon.  It was peak hour and raining, the tail end of a thunderstorm.  There is nothing like riding a fixed wheel bicycle through a strange city at peak hour in the rain to heighten ones senses.  I had a moment, only a little moment, where I dropped the back wheel into the tram tracks but the force was with me and I managed to keep everything up right and travelling in the desired direction.  I also became geographically challenged for a little while but it didn't concern me because I knew that I was in München and if you know what city you are in then things can't be that bad.